Reflections

I've found out a lot about friends and family this weekend. Some it is necessary for me to know, but other things I wish I didn't know because I truly believe in some instances, ignorance is bliss. The family stuff isn't really up for public discussion so I think I will leave that for face-to-face chats with those whom I care to discuss it with, and as for the friends side - it's not that I "found anything out" but more like I am beginning to see where loyalties really lie. I don't mean loyalties in terms of choosing sides, because this isn't a situation where there are even sides to choose. Maybe we are just drifting apart and that scares me more than anything because among my closest friends in the world, the ones with whom I end all conversations, "I love you", I mean those words exactly. They are the friend for whom I would do anything - lie, beg, borrow, cheat, even die for - because I love them more than anything, and if my doing any of those things would help them in any way shape or form, there's no question I would respond in a heartbeat. I feel that lately however, some of us really are drifting apart. There have been no explicit actions proving this that any outsider will notice, yet to any on "the inside" it is slowly but surely happening. It could be that we are all nearing the end of our college careers and will likely not be living near each other next year, but I think that is all the more reason for us to stay close now when we have the opportunity and not take one another for granted. I know life happens and we all get busy with that, but there's a reason we are friends in the first place and I think it would be a shame for that all to end because we can't seem to make ourselves find the time to hang out even once a week.

And somewhat related to the future, I have really been giving Alaska a lot of thought. I know half of you are thinking, "What the fuck, where did Alaska come from" but it's always been there in the back of my mind. It would be difficult for me to be so far away from my friends and family and in a place that is dark half the year and with no sports teams to speak of (although Duke will usually play in a basketball tournament hosted by the University of Alaska each season, so yay for that). Like Texas, Alaska has a lot to offer new teachers in order to get and keep them there. We all know, however, I will never set foot in the state of Texas (except of course to visit Buttons for Spring Break) so that option is out. Both states have trouble retaining teachers or even getting them there in the first place, so many school districts offer things like, paying for you to move up there, helping pay off college loans, helping pay for grad school, paying rent/house payments the first couple years, and even making car payments as well. In addition to the material value of this option, I think the experience in itself would be so amazing. I have been to most areas of the US with the exception of southern states, aside from Virginia. I have never been to Canada which isn't a loss because Canada sucks, but I think to go somewhere completely new and start completely fresh would be such a challenge and we all know I, on occasion, love a good challenge almost as much as I love watching a good thrashing of the Green Bay Packers by the Minnesota Vikings. Again, could I go without sports for that long? Yes, cable television is nice but nothing compares to being in the stands, watching a football or basketball game live. I don't know, it is something to think about, but something I am considering more and more as graduation nears.